Over the past few weeks, I have been completely drawn in my little world of frustrations that I was pretty much in pain-figuratively. I was tired and definitely scattering myself to some options that are not pleasant and deliberately chaotic. But they were predictable responses. Knowing these tendencies on the occurrence of "fate-up-against-my-will" whirl thing, I don't think anyone would expect me to turn things around so quick. My experiences might be different from others but the impact- it's actually generic. This isn't the first time I've written something to air out (though some of it not posted) shitty days, cluttered with typhoons of cliched self-provocations.
Things were rather getting stupider every time and I was becoming inattentive to better things.
I might write something like this again and serve you with my another distasteful fancies about pain, sadness, frustrations, etc. and probably some of them might appear close to giving in, but while I'm still trying, I'll try not to write "something" with a conjecture that I give up. I always like the idea that the purpose of how we were designed is to continue finding ways to become better even if days, weeks, months, years are a shitload of misfortunes and disappointments.