Thursday, 17 November 2011

Resist. Progress.

A couple of weeks ago, I have met with an academic official and she and the institution she was part of apathetically blew my whole composure. I was measured and through their means, I was evaluated to be scholarly incompetent. Doubt came in like a Greek God, signaling perils and misfortunes that are yet to come. I started to become doubtful of my investments that made me come this far. Far enough to realize that I have reached the margins of what I can only do- and yes for a time, they were able to put walls on it. But concretes also go old and feeble...I cried for an uplift. 

A good friend told me that as long as I am confident in my work around in life, there's nothing to worry. I didn't think of that. Ulysses had already proven likewise and I didn't consider it. I was dragging myself to a free dive on a sink hole. Something's wrong...there is something to notice on what's happening; I was provoking myself to become miserable, to shift the rudder of my ship and to head towards a starless horizon. I simply wanted to become their casualty and succumb to my defeat.

But the battle has no ending yet. Much as I was provoking destruction and stupidity, I still managed not to succumb to the toil of this quasi Quixotic experience. Because I wanted to see more of what I do and what I will become in my resistance against the abysmal refusal of scholar absolutists. 

Funny, now I just thought of a line from one X-Ray Spex song that's not entirely relative, "Oh bondage, up yours!"

1 comment:

  1. "yes terrible things happen.. but sometimes those terrible things.. they save you.." =)